Taste Chicago: Or An Unreasonable Facsimile Thereof

TASTE CHICAGO
603 N Hollywood Way, Burbank
818.563.2800
Click for a Map to Taste Chicago

PARTICULARS:
Vienna Beef Standard Hot Dog, Spicy or Mild
Polish, Grilled Onions, Tomato, Sport Pepper,
Celery Salt, Side Pickles, Giordiniera, Italian
Pepper Spread, Mozzerella, Provalone, American
Cheese, Baked Potato Wedges, Ribs, Roast Beef
Sandwiches, Italian Sausage Sandwich, Peppers
and Cheese Sandwich, Pasta Bowls, Pizza, Italian
Chunk Marinade Salad, Annisetta Salad, Garlic
Bread, Cheesecake, Key Lime Breeze, Mud Pie,
Frozen Custard, Espresso
Health Department Rating: A

DISTINCTIONS:
So Called "Authentic" Chicago Dogs



Jon the Food Slob and L.J. Dawgg work a stone's throw away from a brand new hot dog stand owned by Joe Mantegna's wife purporting to be an authentic Chicago doggery. After work one evening, they swung by to pick up Steve Doggie-Dogg to give it a try. Taste Chicago is the name of the joint, not to be confused with Taste *OF* Chicago, the annual food festival held in the windy city. Located in a shack previously occupied by the now-defunct stand named eponymously "The Hot Dog (Where 8 Inches Is Just Average)", Taste Chicago sits smack dab in the middle of Burbank, on the corner of Hollywood Way and Verdugo. We had heard good things about the place, and had high hopes that it would surpass Rubins Red Hot for the title of best Chicago Dog in Los Angeles.



When we arrived at Taste Chicago, there were a few people scattered around the place munching on dogs and chatting. There was a patio area on the porch that seemed inviting, but since it was a hot evening, we decided to eat in air conditioned comfort instead. The menu was totally confusing... It had so many different kinds of things, it was hard to figure out what the specialties were. How can any place this small really do justice to a menu that includes everything from Roast Beef Sandwiches, to Pizza, to BBQ Ribs, to Pasta? Everything but french fries! The only potatoey side dish was baked potato wedges... Sorry! That's don't cut the mustard! There were three kinds of dogs listed... a Chicago Style Hot Dog, a Maxwell Street Polish and a Hot Polish. We decided to order a couple of each.

Jon the Food Slob had a Chicago Dog with mustard, onion, relish, tomato, celery salt, side pickle and sport peppers. He also ordered a Maxwell Street Polish with grilled onions and mustard. "No more grilled onions." was the surly comment from the big guy behind the counter. Jon tried to reason with him, "Well, you gotta grill and you got onions... Can ya make some?" "Nope" was the curt reply. With arched eyebrow, Jon settled for raw onions and leaned back over his shoulder to whisper a warning to Steve and L.J. that any hopes of grilled onions tonight would be in vain. L.J. ordered a carbon copy of Jon's, and Steve decided on the same, along with a Hot Polish to see how that stacked up.



As we were waiting, we took a look around the joint. The walls were suspiciously festooned with posters advertising "Vienna Beef Maxwell Street Polish" and "Authentic Vienna Beef Chicago Style Hot Dog". Apparently, the names Taste Chicago uses on the menu to describe its dogs correspond with mass produced dogs distributed outside of the city itself... We couldn't imagine advertising an "Authentic Chicago Style Hot Dog" in Chicago. That would be redundant, wouldn't it? One encouraging sign was an autographed photo of WGN's Bozo the Clown pinned to the wall. L.J. proclaimed that if Bozo approved of the hot dogs at Taste Chicago, they must be pretty darn good. But a closer inspection revealed that Bozo's inscription referred to the Italian Beef sandwich, not the hot dogs. "What the hell is a clown doing eating a Roast Beef sandwich when there are perfectly good hot dogs to be eaten?!" The omens were definitely not good.



When the meal arrived, everything looked OK... the Poppyseed Buns were fluffy and nice, and the dogs were piled high with toppings. But the regular dogs were dwarfed by their buns... You couldn't even see their tiny noses peeking out from under all that relish. One bite proved that Taste Chicago didn't live up to its name. No snap, no squirt, no spice... just rubbery "Package Dogs". The Spicy Polish was pretty awful, with an overpowering cayenne taste; but the Maxwell Street Mild Polish wasn't quite as bad. It had a little better skin than the Standard Dog, but the spices were pretty blah. The relish was very sweet, like we've come to expect for Chicago Style dogs, and for the first time, we got authentic Chicago Sport Peppers. They were a bit too spicy for Jon the Food Slob, but Steve and L.J. gobbled them down greedily. The tomato and side pickle were OK, but nothing to write home about. All in all, the dogs only "mustard" up a two and a half dog rating.



L.J. wasn't satisfied. He proposed going back for more... just not dogs this time. He ordered an Italian Beef Sandwich with Pepper Spread. It was great, with meat piled high... a little pricey at $7, but satisfying. Clearly, Bozo was right. The Beef Sandwich was the thing to get here, not the dogs. We had just finished off the last three slices of Cheesecake in the house when they not-too-subtly started flicking the lights on and off. We headed off into the night, discussing what went wrong here. We came to the conclusion that the problem was the scattershot approach of the menu. They had so much going on there, they seemed to have taken their dogs for granted. Having authentic peppers and poppyseed buns just isn't good enough... The dogmeat has to back it up. And what can you say about a hot dog stand that can't make grilled onions on request, and doesn't even have french fries on the menu? The surly counter help sure didn't add anything to the experience. As we got in our car, Chicago native, L.J. Dawgg said he might come back again, but not for the dogs... Sorry Mrs. Mantegna!