Home Plate Burgers: It's Not How Long You Make it... It's How You Make It Long

HOME PLATE BURGERS
7615 Reseda Bl, Reseda
818.776.8070
Click for a Map to Home Plate Burgers

PARTICULARS:
Vienna Beef Foot Long Hot Dog, Chili,
Sauerkraut, Cheddar Cheese, Burgers,
Fries, Shakes, Sundaes, Root Beer Floats
Health Department Rating: A

DISTINCTIONS:
Gen-u-wine Vienna Beef Footlongs
with Natural Casings



A google search turned up a menu for Home Plate Burgers in Reseda. Normally, we don't give places without a hot doggity name a second look, but this place was special... they advertised genuine footlong Vienna Beef dogs with natural casings. In fact, the menu unconditionally guaranteed that the dogs sold at Home Plate were "the dogs that SNAP". That's enough of a claim to make this group of dog-boys salivate and chomp at the bit to give 'em a bite! The Vienna Beef dogs with natural casings at QT Chicago Dogs were dee-lish, so we were eager to try the same thing in a hyper-extended version of Freudian dimensions.



Jon's "Beemer" is equipped with satellite navigation, so we punched in the co-ordinates and took off for beautiful Reseda... home of the stars. It turned out that we didn't need a satellite to find Home Plate Burgers... there was a hot dog fifty feet long painted on the roof with the not-too-subtle motto, "Where 12 inches is just average". That wasn't all, the signage for the drive thru window was explicit enough that even after a twelve pack of Old Milwaukee we could probably still find it! The stand appeared to be an old Der Wienerschnitzel, with the signature "A frame" architecture and red and white color scheme. We got out and poked our head in the order window. A cute Latina took our orders... A Kraut Dog and a Chili and Onions for Jon, and a Chili-Cheese, Sauerkraut and Mustard and Mustard, Onion, Cheese, Tomato for Steve. We decided on Diet Cokes to wash it down, and we split a jumbo order of fries.



As we waited for our order to come up, the cute Latina grilled us about the camera... "Wat choo gonna do wit dose pichurz?" she asked in typical SoCal parlance. Jon the Food Slob blew our cover and wrote the website address on a card for her. (His phone number was on the other side of the card... but that's another story.) We settled down at the only table that wasn't encrusted with gobs of dried up ketchup... it wasn't exactly the cleanest hot dog stand we've seen, but who cares if the dog snaps? The metal lawn chairs didn't accomodate Steve's well padded backside, but he made do by shoving a couple of them together. Quick as two shakes of a lamb's tail, we had a whole mess of tubesteak to deal with...



"Yee Gawds! Atsa LONG dog!" Steve exclaimed in astonishment. And they weren't just long, they were really good too. The skin was was the real deal... just as snappy as advertised, with nice spices and a hearty squirt when you bit down. We couldn't have hoped for better dogmeat. The fries were pretty darn good too... very similar to the fries at Carney's. The ketchup came in tiny packets, but the fries were so tasty, we didn't waste time tearing into them. We just gobbled down the piping hot taters naked as the day God created them.



The buns were pretty average... no different than the average supermarket bun... but perhaps there isn't as much of a choice in buns when the dogs are this long. The toppings left a lot to be desired. The Sauerkraut was OK... a bit perky and not runny... and the onions were freshly chopped. The cheese was shredded way too fine, and it was sprinkled on so light, you couldn't even taste it. For some strange reason, Steve's tomato came in a paper envelope, separate from the dog... one single, solitary slice of tomato all on its lonesome. It was a good tomato to be sure, but they charged fifty cents extra for that wimpy lil thang! The chili was abominable. It was bland, full of flour and cornstarch, and relatively untainted with meat. Jon and Steve resorted to scraping it off into the paper boat the dog came in.



As we sat and ate, we watched a steady stream of cars go through the drive in. Home Plate does pretty good business. After a while, a few fellas who had obviously just gotten off work sat down and ordered some hamburgers. The burgers looked mighty fine, stacked high with meat and fresh lettuce, onions and tomatoes. If we get out this way again, we might supplement a footlong with a double decker home plate burger. As the clock struck nine, a lady pulled up to the drive thru window. Before she got a chance to order a single thing... BANG... every light in the place went off. The employees inside hid in the shadows until she went away. I guess they don't cotton to latecomers at this joint!

Steve and Jon walked to the car, discussing how unique Home Plate is compared to other doggeries we've tried. Most places focus all of their attention on the toppings, and let the quality of the dogmeat slide... but Home Plate was the exact opposite. The dogmeat here was first class, but the toppings were mediocre. The snappy footlong Vienna Beef weenies guaranteed them at least a three dog rating, but there was nothing else about the place to justify any more than that. If you're a purist who prefers your dog long, snappy, and bare of toppings, Home Plate may just be the place for you. Chili lovers and those who like their dogs messy will probably want to look elsewhere. We'll probably be back, though... those king sized wieners are a lot of fun to eat.